And you know what type of reaction you’ll have if you ever do find out. Yup, that’s what I went through. No matter how much you prepare yourself, you just can’t control your physiological arousal(s). It’s not even the fact of finding out…just the fact of the time period between when one thing ended and when another began… and the uncertainty of whether someone who you thought was honest, truly was, at least back when it actually mattered. Do I care? Yeah, I did, for a few hours. But do I miss it? Heck no. I’d be stuck in a boring “omg why are you so lazy and unmotivated”  phase/era/i can’t even find the right word for it.  I also can’t say I didn’t see it coming – I actually expected it…oh no, not the ending, but rather the individual moving on, and with that person. In all honesty, I didn’t think a certain individual would be able to so quickly gain the confidence to become acquainted with strangers, or to even gain the confidence to pry on younger individuals without appearing creepy. So the chosen path? That of least resistance, seriously. I could have taken that path immediately with my stalker. But did I? Nope, because I’m better than that. I’m not surprised if there was contact going on before one thing even ended, because that would explain A LOT. And that’s how I’ll keep things; I already know more than I desired to, but I guess I brought this upon myself, uploading certain things, changing certain settings…should have deactivated when I initially wanted to. But it’s time to move on some more.

Where am I now? Having fun, enjoying life, being pushed to the limits, I have my own strong support system. Oh, most importantly, he can save me money by replacing my driver’s side mirror. The other can just offer suggestions. In the words of my stalker, “lame.”  Oh did I mention new rides a Harley? Yeah….I think we all know who wins. Mix in muscles and tattoos and we’ve got the whipped cream and the cherry on top.

 

I’ve been going through lists, the good vs.bad, new vs.old:

motivated vs. lazy, considerate 24/7 vs. only when there’s a desire, and the list of olds (and bads) go on: doesn’t stick to a plan, jumps to conclusions, close-minded, only considers one point of view, dragged down by culture/religion/country of origin <- NEVER AGAIN, who needs that unnecessary baggage?!? There are more things I’d like to say, but I don’t think they’re very appropriate, plus karma would bite me in the behind for that. We can throw in awkward too.

Some more good: outgoing, willing to try new things, even without anyone joining in, works out, loves the job, a great boss, friendly, personable, motivated, pursuing life plans, loves to try new things, maintains millions of hobbies, never wastes a single minute, and appreciates me for who I am, no sacrifices required.

 

That, my friends, is all the venting I shall do, for tonight, at least. Good night.

xoxo,

WhiteRussian

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